10 Things To Accomplish So Your Summer Isn’t A Total Waste

Credit: Evil Erin/Flickr

We’ve passed the midpoint of summer, and with just about 50 days left ’til Labor Day, you might be realizing that you’ve spent it doing, well, nothing. Not to worry: You still have plenty of time to accomplish these 10 key things that’ll ensure that this summer is one to remember.

1. Find a love interest

While the cold weather is perfect for staying indoors by yourself with a hot bowl of chili, summer is the time to go out and meet someone special. And if you can’t do that, then at least…

2. Find a sex interest

Actually, with all the women in skimpy clothes and bikinis, why limit yourself to just one?

3. Leave town

Maybe there’s no one to meet in your neck of the woods because¬†everybody else has already skipped town. Time to do it yourself. Go as far as your money will take you, whether that’s Europe, the tropics or just a road trip one state over.

4. Catch a ballgame

Even if you don’t like sports, baseball barely counts as one. It’s a three-hour excuse to be outside, getting a tan, eating hot dogs and slugging beers. Find the closest ballpark — even if it’s a minor league stadium — and go one night.

5. Learn a skill

Or at least a parlor trick. No one really works in summer, even people with jobs. So why not spend your extra free time getting better at something? Counting cards, painting, basketball, or maybe just chatting up girls.

6. Get in shape

Ideally, you would’ve entered summer already chiseled like Channing Tatum. Alas, those winter months had you packing on the gut. Still, with 50 days straight of good diet and hard exercise, maybe by that final Labor Day BBQ, you can peel off your shirt and have everyone ooh-ing and ahh-ing.

7. Read

We know, that doesn’t exactly sound like “fun.” But it can be! Finally pick up that classic novel you’ve always avoided. Or just goof off with a light, comedic book, like that new one by Dad Boner.

8. Do something with Dad

Just because Father’s Day has passed doesn’t mean you can now ignore the old guy. How ’bout surprising him with some father-son activity that he’d like? Fishing, hitting the links, fixing the gutters…it’ll be a day your dad will always cherish. And that should be enough to make you happy, too.

9. Cultivate a new identity

You don’t have to become Jason Bourne or anything, but wouldn’t it be great to come back for the new school year as a new you? Hipper, cooler, smarter…OK, never mind. That seems like a ton of work, and it’s really hot out.

10. Just kick back and relax

It’s summer, for God’s sake — why do you have to accomplish anything? Grab a lemonade and waste the day away in a hammock or on the beach. By the time fall comes, you’ll be ready to face the grind again.

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Aaron Goldfarb (@aarongoldfarb) is the author of ‘How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide’.