5 Reasons To Be Friends With Her Gay BFF

sassy gay friend
Photo: YouTube

He holds her hand and calls her by pet names. He even takes her on “date nights,” but you’re not jealous, because he’s not straight. It’s your girlfriend’s gay best friend! Sure, you might have conflicted feelings about the dude — she does undress in front of him while trying on outfits — but here are five reasons you’ll befriend him if you know what’s good for you.

1. He Knows What She Wants In Bed

They’ve spent plenty of time in gay bars together watching go-go dancers and talking sex, so he knows about every adventurous act she’s curious to try. Before you try spicing things up, pay him a call first — he’ll know just how much spice to add, and not a pinch more.

2. He’s Also Totally Into Boobs

Gay guys aren’t attracted to women, but they’re often just as fascinated by breasts as you are. What’s more, they’re allowed to touch their chick friends’ boobs in a way that straight guys never could, so he’s developed quite a sophisticated palate. Have a guys’ night out at Hooters and bond over more than just the wings.

3. She’ll Call Him When You Fight

When you and your girlfriend disagree, she’ll ring him for a night of cocktails and complaining. She trusts his advice and relies on him for a male perspective, so make sure that perspective isn’t, “Girl, you can do better.” Get this guy in your corner.

4. He Knows What She Wants For Her Birthday

You may zone out at the mention of the s-word (shoes), but he’s all ears when it comes to her shopping wishlist. Not only does he know what perfume she’s obsessed with, he can tell you what “holidays” she expects a gift on, and when dinner and a simple “Happy Month-a-versary” will do.

5. Face It, You Could Use a Gay Friend, Too

There’s a reason why your girlfriend is friends with this guy — he’s a lot of fun and he appreciates her in many of the same ways you do. Plus, let’s be honest: You have some questions about grooming and gourmet cooking that you’re not about to ask your straight dudes.

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Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) is a stand-up comic with good taste in bad ideas.