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For every guy who watches a wet T-shirt contest, there are 100 girls re-watching the shirtless beach volleyball scene in "Top Gun." It's a no-brainer: Get out there in the hot sun, rip off your shirt like Hulk Hogan, and flash your brawn for the ladies. Taylor Lautner did it in the "Twilight" flicks, and it got him an MTV Movie Award.
It's your turn to shine, glisten and impress chicks. Here are 10 summertime (or anytime) activities you can do shirtless for female attention.
1. Dig a hole
Did the granny next door offer you a quarter to install a fence? Perfect opportunity to impress her hot daughter by showing the earth's crust who's boss. Make sure to get some mud and filth on your forearms. If nothing else, this display will get you a bag of orange slices from the old lady.
2. Punch a heavy bag
Hang it in the garage, keep the roller door up and pound it mercilessly. Try to focus on jabs and right hooks. Those look the coolest.
Tip from Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch: Wrap duct tape around the bag to make it appear weathered. Also, finish your workout by smashing a cinder block barbell to smithereens.
3. Walk your dog
Flex your biceps while telling chicks the location of the animal shelter you got him from. "It's over there [flexing while pointing] right next to the hospital where I'm a famous surgeon."
4. Clean a pool
Just find any pool and clean it, shirtless. It's fine.
Warning: This attracts married women, so be careful not to get in over your head. You don't want to get chased down by a jealous husband. (Jealous of your pecs and abs, versus his saggy man-boobs.)
5. Get tortured
Find a way to upset a mob boss (maybe sleep with his wife after cleaning her pool?). With any luck, he'll hang you by your wrists underneath a sprinkler and shock you with a defibrillator. The key is to pull a "Braveheart" and never call out in pain. Afterwards, you'll have to beat the ladies off you with a stick -- if you've regained motor function.
6. Wax your car
The combination of your muscle tone and the glistening muscle car will attract women and birds. Tame the birds while chatting up your new bevy of beautiful babes.
Warning: Do not wash your car shirtless. No one wants to see your wet, hairy nipples pressed against the windshield.
7. Eat an apple
Just stroll on the boardwalk, sans shirt, chomping into a crisp Gala apple. This drives women wild, because it shows them that you eat knowledge.
8. Defend yourself against an intruder
There is no better way to spice up your sex life than to pummel a prowler in your underpants. The safest way to do this is to stage a break-in, where your best buddy -- dressed as a marauding meth-head -- stands creepily at the foot of your bed. Your girlfriend will wake up screaming. That's when you attack, carry out a choreographed fighting sequence and vanquish your fake opponent.
(How could this possibly go wrong? Oh yeah, if she runs away and calls the cops.)
9. Enter a Fast Food Restaurant
Go shoeless on this one, too. Show every woman that you play by your own rules. Your rebelliousness will have them licking their grease-covered lips.
10. Do the Dishes
You really don't need to do this one shirtless. Come to think of it, you could be wearing her bra and panties, and she'd still find you irresistible simply because you finally stepped up to the dish pile.