Photo: Yvonne Fulbright
As the resident sex expert at Astroglide, Dr. Yvonne Fulbright has quite a job, educating the masses on lubrication and answering customer questions such as 1) "Can you tell me how to use Astroglide to moisturize the vagina? Not for intercourse, just for moisturizing," 2) "Does it make me gay that I enjoy watching transsexual porn?" and 3) "My wife has never had an orgasm, is this a problem?"
We, too, had some questions for Dr. Fulbright, mostly focusing on why guys shouldn't be embarrassed to slather on some bonin' grease. (Whereas guys should definitely be embarrassed to ask, "My wife has never had an orgasm, is this a problem?")
What's the biggest misconception dudes have about lube?
One of the biggest challenges is that people think it's something they should only use when there's a problem like [she's] not getting turned on enough, or there's something medically wrong.… There's almost a sigh of relief when you're with a lover who reaches for the lube -- it's just going to feel better, that doesn't even matter how wet she is.
Some guys might say, "Why don't I just spit on it?"
It has a drying effect.… A lot of people don't find spitting very attractive.
All right, "Why don't I just use lubricated condoms?"
There's really not enough lube on a lubed condom to make it super-pleasurable. You want to have a couple more drops on there…especially on the inside tip. That's what's going to make it feel better for him.
How about, "It'll interrupt the mood if I walk across the room to my drawer."
The payoff is bigger -- it indicates to a lover, "I'm thinking about you, I want you to have maximum pleasure, I want to focus on your needs." A criticism of men is they can think it's all about them, like a dog on a leg, and only focus on themselves.… When you hear about women's sexual experiences, if she's satisfied, it's because he was attentive, took his time, focused on all her hot spots, warmed her body up.
People like having a break, having a breather, kind of adjusting. This is better for both of you, so you can strategize.
What's up with lubes that claim to make guys last longer? (NOT THAT WE NEED IT.)
The problem is, when you numb hot spots, the person doesn't know if there's tearing or pain going on, so damage can be caused. Before you go the route of numbing, there are other things to enhance the situation or make it last longer.
We’re never sure what to do with our gross, sticky hand after we apply lube. Rub it on a pillow?
Sex tends to get pretty messy -- people get sweaty, people get wet, there's semen and pre-ejaculation and fluids -- so why get hung up on lube making your hands messy?
Honestly, do those cooling and warming lubes make any difference?
It's one of those things where different people experience a different effect on their bodies. It can bring the nerves more to life with the warming sensation -- you've got some very sensitive skin down there. The clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings. Some people will think it's too much.
With the way the products are marketed, people's expectations are set really high. They think, If I use some of this, we're going to have a mind-blowing encounter. Be cautiously optimistic...enjoy the novelty of it and the adventure -- don't take it too seriously.
I encourage people to buy sample packs, buy variety packs, have an adventure and see what you react more strongly to.
Photo via memegenerator