The Opponents’ Playbook: ‘Taking A Break’ Means She’s Banging Other Dudes

jessimae-bang

The first season of “Girl Code” just ended, and we hate to see it go (but love to watch it leave?) because we’ve picked up some valuable tips along the way. There’s always more to learn, so here’s part one of what we gleaned from the season’s final episodes.

1. “Taking a break” means she’s looking for a new boyfriend

“Guy Code” already tackled taking a break from a relationship, and now we’ve got the girls’ perspective. Jessimae Peluso sums it up: “You take a break and bang a few randoms and see if you miss the dude.” Tanisha Long adds, “You’re just practicing what it feels like to not have him around.”

If, by some miracle, it actually does work out for you two, you’ll never hear what happened in the interim. “You tell him that you went on some nice lunch dates with some guys…and you missed him,” Tanisha says, “no matter how many penises.”

We’re gonna side with Andrew Schulz on this one: “JUST BREAK UP…you don’t like each other!”

2. Strip club date night: Dreams do come true

Guys assume that women disapprove of peel joints, and that’s often the case. Shalyah Evans calls them “a place where dreams go to die.” But we were shocked at how many of the “Girl Code” gals had been to one (or more), even if it’s just for a quick self-esteem boost. “Girls go to strip clubs ’cause it’s fun and it’s funny,” Carly Aquilino says, “and it makes us feel good about the relationship that we have with our dads.”

Obviously, bring the suggestion up with extreme caution. If you don’t get smacked, it could lead to relationship-improving results. “The best part about a lap dance is that you can pick up hints and clues on how to give your guy a good lap dance,” April Rose explains to the ladies.

Sell it to your girlfriend using Nessa‘s logic: “It’s gonna turn him on, you’re gonna have incredible sex that night.” Besides, “A lot of strip clubs have really good food.”

3. She will become her mother

You’re not just dating a girl — you’re also, in a weird way, dating her mom, because that’s who she’ll morph into eventually. “When you’re 25, you’re like, ‘Oh my god, I am going to be her in a few years,’” Jamie Lee says. “She is my future.”

That’s not necessarily a bad thing — her mom could be awesome, and a nice-looking older lady. Just watch out for maternal red flags. Chris Distefano broke up with a girl once because he couldn’t stand her mother. Is that unfair, like how people in “Minority Report” get arrested for crimes not yet committed? Maybe…but in some cases, don’t wait to see how predictions pan out.

4. If she leaves her toothbrush, she just moved in with you

A girl can become your roommate when you aren’t paying attention. Nessa breaks it down: First she’ll leave her toiletries, then her laundry, then her groceries, “and then [she'll] just stop leaving.” Want to keep your place a bachelor pad? Draw a line in the sand at dental hygiene.

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