This Fur Coat, Made With Human Chest Hair, Is Not A Good Look

chest hair fur coat
Credit: Wing-Co

Cavemen survived by wearing animal pelts, not caveman pelts. We’ll stick to the wisdom of our ancestors by declaring the above $4,000 chest hair fur coat a total violation of Guy Code. If fur’s murder, like PETA claims, then this is a crime against humanity.

Each garment is woven from a million strands of dude fuzz; the process supposedly takes 200 hours. Even stranger, a British chocolate milk company is behind this publicity stunt, as a protest against emasculation. Says a spokesperson: “We commissioned the Man-Fur Coat as a wake-up call for the nation’s gents…to encourage them to readopt the values of assured ‘men’s men’ from yesteryear who would laugh nonchalantly in the face of adversity and be proud of their abundant manliness.”

We agree with the sentiment, sure, but just can’t endorse the fashion abomination. The only chest hair you should wear is whatever your daddy gave you. (From his DNA, not from his actual chest.) As for giving such a coat to your girlfriend — unless she has some bizarre fetish, your relationship is over.

wingo3
Credit: Wing-Co

(Oh, dammit, now we’re turned on and disgusted at the same time.)

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog