What Legos Can Teach You About Manhood

Lego Build 'Girl With A Pearl Earring'
Photo: Kiyoshi Ota/Getty Images

We hadn’t thought much about Legos since we were kids, back when our parents yelled at us for never putting them away, but suddenly they’re back in the news: a 46,000-pound Lego “Star Wars” X-Wing, a massive new Lego visitor center and even artificially intelligent Legos that will probably become self-aware and destroy humanity.

This got us remembering: Holy crap, Legos are awesome! They’ve taught so many kids the joys of constructing, as well as other valuable lessons relevant to being a man…

1. If you can envision it, you can build it

US-CINEMA-TOYS-OFFBEAT
Photo: Emmanuel Dunand/AFP/Getty Images

It takes smarts, patience and guts to build something magnificent — a skyscraper, a stadium, a stuffed-crust pizza — but if you set your mind to it, anything’s possible. (We’re envisioning that X-Wing actually flying…. Can someone please get on that?)

2. Everyone has limits

A robotics builder determined that a Lego wears out after the 37,112th snap. Even though they might have the soundest engineering structure of any toy, they’re not invulnerable…and neither are you. So, don’t push yourself too hard at the gym.

3. Teamwork produces results

CZECH-LEGO-TOWER-RECORD-OFFBEATPhoto: Michal Cizek/AFP/Getty Images

The great football coach Vince Lombardi once said, “The achievements of an organization are the results of the combined effort of each individual.” Take, for example, the Czech Republic’s attempt to break the Lego tower record. Numerous volunteers donated their time (and toys) to reach a height of nearly 105 feet. No individual could possibly have had that many Legos or that much free time.

4. DIY isn’t always the best idea

Even though we’d never question your handyman skills, sometimes you have to swallow your pride and call a contractor. Or else you’ll end up like British TV host James May, who built a two-story house with 3.3 million Lego pieces, complete with furniture and a working bathroom.

Unfortunately, water leaked everywhere, it wasn’t comfortable to walk inside and nobody came forward to buy it, so May had to destroy the whole structure. (By swinging a wrecking ball made of Legos, we’d like to imagine.)

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Danny Gallagher (@thisisdannyg) is a freelance writer, reporter, humorist and Lincoln Log layer.