The Opponents’ Playbook: Never Tell A Crazy Girl She’s Crazy


If you want advice on grilling a steak, do you ask a vegetarian? Of course not…. So why ask your boys about understanding chicks when you can get the inside scoop from “Girl Code“? Here are the takeaways for men from this week’s dual episodes.

1. Talk Her Into A Threesome At Your Own Risk

A ménage à trois is every guy’s goal, but only a fraction’s accomplishment. Still, it can be done. Jamie Lee estimates, “At least 10% of every girl wants to hook up with another girl…’cause girls are hot.” And Nicole Byer reveals the secret sentence for making it happen: “If you don’t, you don’t know what you like — you may be missing out on something just because you’re being all prude and weird.”

Be careful what you wish for, however. April Rose, who got frisky with a college roommate, warns that having a three-way “could create awkward jealousies.” Instead of spicing your relationship up, it could just piss your girlfriend off…or she might like it so much, she goes full lesbian and “never want[s] d*** again,” in Nessa‘s words.

2. Paging Dr. Freud

“[G]irls like guys who have similar qualities to their dad,” Shalyah Evans says. Learn how to play golf and talk about it nonstop if you want a girl to swing your putter.

3. Handle With Care

Girls will flip out occasionally. “We’re just a roller coaster of feelings at all times,” Jamie Lee admits, “and we’re gonna let you know.” There’s no good outcome here, but there are less bad outcomes, depending on your reaction.

“It makes me insane when…arguing with somebody who’s really calm,” says Alice Wetterlund. So don’t take a superior attitude, and especially don’t call a girl out on her behavior. Chris Distefano advises, “No matter how blatantly crazy she’s being…never say the word ‘crazy.'”

And maybe, just maybe, she has a legitimate reason to be angry. “Girls get the ‘crazy’ label because guys can’t figure out why [we’re] upset,” Tanisha Long says.

4. Dump A Girl To Her Face

Man up and tell your girlfriend in person that you don’t want her anymore, or suffer the consequences. “I will come up to your job and cause a f***ing scene” if you send a breakup text message, Nessa says…and she’s not the only one.

5. Keep Your Jealousy In Check

No girl wants a “possessive nightmare,” as Jamie Lee puts it. Relax when other guys talk to your girlfriend — especially if it’s just the waiter, taking her order.

Charlamagne concurs that “jealousy is an insecure trait,” although Carly Aquilino appreciates some of it: “Having a boyfriend that’s a little jealous is kind of a compliment, ’cause he knows if he messes up, other guys are gonna tap that ass.”

+ Follow Guy Code on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Google+

+ Watch “Girl Code” Tuesdays at 10:30/9:30c on MTV