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Pick-up lines are well-documented as having terrible success rates, yet heads still use them…probably because rappers make ‘em sound cool. But when you lay down these lyrical witticisms, they just don’t carry the same weight. Instead of millions from platinum records, you’ll merely earn awkward, disgusted glares from ladies.
1. “You don’t know how you look to me/But if love was a crime you be a crook to me”
If you quote these smooth bars from Diddy‘s “I Need A Girl (Part Two)” to an actual girl, it’ll sound cheesier than, “Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?”
2. “I wonder…how would it feel, to sleep with a woman like you?/To fade that monkey ’til it’s funky”
Honest questions deserve honest answers. But this question from DJ Quik‘s “Mo P****” will get you an answer in the form of a fist to your face.
3. “Girl I got that dope d***, now come here let me dope you/You gon’ be a dope fiend, your friends should call you Dopey”
Lil Wayne can get away with this boast from “Every Girl,” because he’s Lil Wayne. But you can’t, because you’re you.
4. “I could wear you out inside/I could tell you like persistence, but I make you c** in tri’s”
The struggle for a one-night smangin’ is so real in Wale‘s “Lotus Flower Bomb,” folks. But his slick talk is your avenue to a lonely walk home.
5. “Listen up, baby, you look real pretty/Let me pull up your shirt and suck your t***y”
Hey, at least Fresh Kid Ice of 2 Live Crew started with a compliment on “Move Somethin’.” And that’s where you should end it.
6. “How ’bout you and all your morals in that outfit that you borrowed/Make the most out of tonight and worry ’bout it all tomorrow”
If you try this line from Drake‘s “Show Me A Good Time,” a bouncer will show you the door.
7. “Can I ask you a question, you like to f***?”
Unless you’re Too Short, no, you can’t ask this question.
8. “You dig a Gucci Gucci…Oh that’s your girlfriend? Why don’t you introduce me?”
Gucci Mane might land two chicks simultaneously off the strength of this line from “Freaky Gurl,” but you’ll land on a cold bed for one if you try them out. Brr!
9. “Baby you send me/Set adrift on memory’s bliss of you”
P.M. Dawn can make this sound like poetry. Coming out of your mouth, it’ll just sound like bulls***.
10. “Girl gimme that p****!/Girl gimme that/Girl gimme girl gimme that there/Girl gimme that p****!”
Do you really need us to explain why you shouldn’t use this refrain from Webbie‘s “Give Me That”? If you’ve ever wondered what a one-way ticket to jail sounds like, now you know.