5 Reasons Female Roommates Are Better Than Men

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Tonight on the series premiere of “Girl Code” (10:30/9:30c on MTV), the cast discusses the problems and benefits of roommates. Men only ask themselves three questions when picking a roommate: 1) Will he pay rent? 2) Will he mess with my stuff? and 3) Will he creep out girls I bring home? If the answers are “yes,” “no” and “no” (or “yes, but in a funny way”), you’ve scored a solid bunkmate.

However, when faced with a potential female roommate, guys will overthink it. Maybe we feel like we’re being tricked into a committed relationship, or we’re worried she’ll be a cock-blocker or that we can’t just let loose and “be a dude” in our own home. These are all valid concerns, but the potential benefits of a female roommate outweigh the risks.

1. You’ll meet more girls

Unless she’s one of those girls who “only hangs with guys” because she “hates other girls,” chances are a female roommate will have mostly female friends. This is a way for you to meet women while doing nothing. They’ll just show up to your place, and they have to be polite to you since you’re the roommate.

This can backfire, though, because if you hit it off with one of her friends, your roommate may cock-block you by saying, “You can’t sleep with him. I have to live with him and things will get awkward.” Still, the more girls you meet, the better your chances.

2. Other girls will feel safer going home with you

In Louis C.K.‘s new standup special, he says, “How do women still go out with guys, when you consider that there is no greater threat to women than men?” It’s even more of a leap of faith for her to go home with you. For all she knows, you could have a soundproof murder dungeon like in “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”

However, if she knows you have a female roommate, she’ll be more likely to trust that you won’t harm her. You’ve been pre-selected by another woman as “being safe.” She knows that if she screams, there’ll be a sympathetic ear in the next room.

The caveat is you can never under any circumstances sleep with your roommate. It doesn’t matter if you’re drunk or lonely or just want to test out the passion fruit-flavored condoms—the dynamic will change. She’ll intentionally scare off other girls and things will get awkward fast.

3. Girls are less disgusting than dudes

This is a generalization, and I know there are some filthy girls out there, but for the most part, women tend to be cleaner. They don’t fart as often, as loud or as stinky. They smell better in general. And most aren’t total strangers with a toilet brush and cleaning supplies, as many young males can be.

4. Girls are more caring

Again, there are some real bitchy women who don’t care about anyone else’s feelings. Still, ladies tend to consider others’ emotions more than dudes. It’s not that we’re animals. We’re just not wired the same way.

Chances are that if you’re sick, a female roommate is going to make you soup before a guy does. If you’ve cleaned, she won’t throw her sports equipment all over the living room. And if she’s having sex, she’ll bite down on a pillow instead of screaming so as not to wake you.

5. You learn to live with a girl without wrecking a relationship

The drawback to the above benefit is a female roommate will expect you to consider her feelings as well. This will be frustrating at first. You’re forced into worrying about how this girl feels and you don’t even get to touch her boobs. However, it’ll teach you how to live with a woman before you move in with someone you’re dating.

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Ryan McKee (@TheRyanMcKee) is the editor of Guy Code Blog