Lingerie For Men Is A Thing That Exists And Should Not

lingerie for men
Credit: Homme Mystere

Here’s what you, as a guy, should wear to bed: A) pajamas, B) underwear or C) nothing.

Here’s what you shouldn’t: A see-through lace teddy with a bunch of hearts all over it.

Now, we’re firm believers that it’s OK for consenting adults to do whatever they want in the privacy of their own bedrooms, bathrooms, dungeons, etc. Everyone’s a little freaky, and we don’t judge. That said, no dude on earth should try to rock a “Fun Teddy” like the one pictured above. (Actual sales text: “Lovely soft fabric teddy for men. Full cut that stays in place, perfect sleepwear. You will wear this every night.”)

Even if you’re saying to yourself, “No thanks, I won’t wear this any night,” such garments–a massive hit at this year’s Las Vegas International Lingerie Show–could become mainstream before long, according to alt-weekly magazine Vegas Seven:

“If the audience’s reception is any indication, we might be on the cusp of a new era in men’s underwear. I’m not referring to body-hugging boxer briefs that leave little to the imagination; rather, I’m talking about frilly thongs, silk camisoles and pink teddies designed with men’s bodies in mind.”

The co-founder of male lingerie company Homme Mystere adds that, “As with women’s lingerie, some [guys] will want it all the time, some for special occasions and some will be purchased by wives or girlfriends for the men in their lives.” Yes, wives or girlfriends, because the majority of his customers are straight guys.

Count us out. The FAQ claims that men’s lingerie is “fun, it feels great and it makes choosing underwear each day a little more enjoyable,” but we’d rather go commando.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog