12 Embarrassing Reasons Why Your Name Is Trending On Twitter

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Every time we fire up the Twitter machine and notice a celebrity’s name is trending, we try to guess the reason. Most of the time the reason would make the person blush. Today, for example, Padres outfielder Carlos Quentin is trending ’cause he broke pitcher Zach Greinke’s collarbone after getting hit by the ball. Not exactly why you want to become a trending topic.

This list covers pretty much every embarrassing scenario. Let’s get to it.

1. Your sex tape leaked

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The caveat is if you leaked it intentionally to launch a career (the Kardashian rule).

Recent examples: Hulk Hogan, Former Miss Teen Delaware

2. You got fired (or are about to be)

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Particularly when the reasons for dismissal include the use of racial and homophobic slurs and playing dodgeball with basketballs and others’ heads.

Recent example: Former Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice

3. You got played by a Twitter ‘model’

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Tech-savvy modern prostitutes use everything at their disposal to reel in clients and raise their profile. There’s a reason it’s called the world’s oldest profession.

Recent example: Peyton Siva

4. You lost your cool in public

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We all act like a**holes occasionally, but you’ll feel like one if it’s documented on the internet.

Recent example: Porn legend Jenna Jameson, whose assistant has accused her of assault with a brass knuckles iPhone case.

5. You’re involved in a sex scandal

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Even if there’s no actual sex involved.

Recent example: Anthony Weiner (who’s on the comeback trail!)

6. You got arrested (or sent to prison)

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Lindsay Lohan has a stranglehold on this one, but she’s got company.

Recent example that’s not LiLo: Rapper Too $hort, who was too boozed up to drive and fled from police.

7. You’re having a prolonged, full-fledged meltdown

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The kind that puts you near what Bill Simmons described as the “Tyson Zone,” when a person has displayed such bizarre behavior that you’ll believe anything you hear about them.

Recent example: Amanda Bynes, who last month wrote on Twitter, “I want @drake to murder my vagina.”

8. You’re getting ripped for something truly shameful

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Over the border of embarrassing and into reproachable territory.

Recent example: Late Penn State football coach Joe Paterno

9. You said something really stupid

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This covers ignorant, racist, jingoistic and other foolish statements.

Recent example: 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver, who said the week before the Super Bowl, “I don’t do the gay guys man. I don’t do that. No, we don’t got no gay people on the team, they gotta get up out of here if they do.”

10. Your song or movie bombs

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You’ve gotta keep trucking through the mud, but sometimes the manure is too high.

Recent example: Brad Paisley, who had to make clear that LL Cool J collaboration “Accidental Racist” is “not a stunt.”

11. You accidentally tweeted a nude photo of yourself

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We can see your boobs!

Recent example: Allison Pill

12 .You’re involved in something…strange

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Basically a catch-all for activities like, oh, perpetuating a lie about a fake dead girlfriend.

Recent example: Manti Te’o

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