Today’s Dumbass: Naked Guy Paddles With Crocs For Bourbon

aussiePhoto via NT News

The Daly River in Australia is so infested with crocodiles that the local government begged trophy hunters to have at them a few years ago. So, when a drunk fisherman’s buddies offered him Jack Daniels to cross it nude last weekend, he did the only reasonable thing: Took off his clothes, jumped onto a log and paddled for his life…and for that delicious bourbon.

“I’d enjoyed a few beers and it seemed a good idea at the time,” the man told NT (Northern Territory) News. “We weren’t catching any fish…so I thought, ‘Why not?’ But when I woke up the next morning, it didn’t seem so clever.”

Fortunately, he woke up with all his appendages intact (including the most important appendage of all, which he’d exposed to the vicious aquatic beasts). A friend of the man declared, “It was hilarious,” adding, “He got two cases of Jack Daniels for it–and thought that made it all worthwhile.” Liquor: Exactly what this idiot needs.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog