13 Best Quotes From ‘Guy Code’ Season Three

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Image Design Courtesy Of @TheseTwoChicks

This season of “Guy Code” had too many classic moments to count, let alone whittle down to a handful of favorites. We asked the show’s producers to try anyway…and they somehow got it down to, like, 45. After a long night spent debating the merits of each, we finally arrived at this list. Here are the Season Three lines that will live on in the history books…or, at least, on Twitter.

13. Jermaine Fowler On Getting Fat

“The only difference between fat black guys and fat white guys is that fat white dudes sing opera and fat black dudes sing R&B.”

12. Kevin Barnett On Religion

“Change religions for a girl? That’s crazy. Can you imagine what your boys would say? ‘Kevin’s so whipped, he’s Jewish!’”

11. Chris Distefano On Being Stoned

“You can’t tell me Plato and Socrates weren’t stoned. They used to sit in a toga with their balls hanging out, claiming that they knew life’s secrets. They were so stoned, it was unbelievable.”

10. Jordan Carlos On Apologizing

“It takes only two words to apologize to a man and they’re not, ‘I’m sorry.’ It’s, ‘We good?”

9. Pete Davidson On Moving Back In

“I moved out of my Mom’s house five months ago and it’s the greatest feeling ever. Porn has volume. You hear that guys? Porn has volume!”

8. Lil Duval On Spicing Things Up

“Everybody loves sex, but you know what’s better than sex? Oral sex, preferably 69. I ain’t got no joke for that. It’s just Guy Code.”

7. Kevin Barnett On Prom

“You probably won’t get laid at your prom. Try, because this may be one of the last chances…where it’s cool to have sex with a high school girl.”

6. Jon Gabrus On Taking A Break

“Don’t fool yourself. If your girl wants to take a break, don’t be like, ‘Two weeks? I’ve got my girl coming back.’ If she does come back, she’s been ruined.”

5. Dan Soder On Boners

“When you tuck it under your belt, it puts your penis in the sleeper hold.”

4. Andrew Schulz On Cock-blocking

“If there were a 10 commandments of Guy Code, the first one would be, ‘Thou shall not cock-block.’ So would the second, the third, and the fourth.”

3. Chris Distefano On Religion

“If you don’t believe in anything, believe in Guy Code.”

2. Damien Lemon On House Parties

“Hide that urn with your grandfather’s ashes in it before somebody takes them and LeBron‘s them.”

1. Best Line All Series!

“What dat mouf do?”

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