Credit: Code Red/Priceline
There’s an app for everything, but–like peanut butter and jelly, or gin and tonic–some things are better when combined. Here’s the application amalgamations that would make every modern guy’s life easier.
1. Code Red + Priceline
The former is “a survival guide for her monthly cycle. Period.” The latter lets you pay whatever you’re willing to skip town, thanks to Captain Kirk. Beam us up, Scotty…earth’s too scary this week.
2. Mint + OKCupid
One app tracks your spending, the other tracks your dating. Integration would allow you to determine which ladies are driving you to bankruptcy, and which are a sound investment.
3. Sexy Vibes + WebMD
A personal massager app for women (“Your phone is now the world’s most advanced vibrator”) might be a hard sell for dudes, even those wiling to experiment…but if WebMD could make it diagnose prostate cancer, then we’d happily skip our annual physicals.
CAUTION: Sticking a radioactive device up your ass might cause prostate cancer.
4. 100000+ Public Toilets Pro + Blendr/Grindr
Look, if you’re going to have random anonymous sex with nearby strangers, you want to find the most hygienic restroom possible. Otherwise it’d just be unseemly.
5. Instagram + Google Goggles + Auto Airplane Mode
You take a photo of your dinner with Instagram. At which point the image recognition matrix of Google Goggles identifies it as food. At which point Auto Airplane Mode kicks in, preventing you from uploading your dumb picture of spaghetti to Facebook. Really, the FCC should require this on all mobile devices.