Today’s Dumbass: Guy Fakes Knife Attack To Impress Girl

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Credit: Dennis Hallinan via Getty Images

If you want to convince a woman that you’re a hero, join the fire department or adopt an adorable kitten from the pound. Or, uh, ask a friend to mug both of you at knifepoint.

That’s the “brilliant” romantic strategy of 26-year-old Jeffery Tyler Siegel, who brought his date to a scenic Arkansas nature preserve. His buddy, wearing all black and wielding a giant blade, jumped them and said, “You can go, but your girlfriend stays.” At which point, Siegel was supposed to theatrically kick the friend’s ass like Batman.

However, the plan went awry when the girl ran and called the cops. Panicked, Siegel cut himself with the knife and told authorities that he’d fought off the attacker. They searched the area for hours, but began to suspect that his story was bogus.

According to police, Siegel confessed that he “really liked” the girl, and “felt that if he did something like this it would help him with his chances…” Local reporters got in touch with her; she described Siegel (whom she’d never date again) as “not very heroic.”

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog