Credit: Getty Images
Last week, hoodie enthusiast and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg unveiled new changes to the site, including bigger photos and links so advertisers can get even more up in your grill. When it goes live, everybody will whine nonstop for two days and then completely forget about what Facebook looked like before--but we're actually hoping Zuck changes it even more. Here are the features we want to see in the next update.
1. Sonogram Filter
At some point, all your friends start posting baby photos constantly. Even worse, some of them post creepy 3D sonograms of tiny in utero aliens. Who needs those graphic spy-cam pics from the womb? You can "hide" them, but you can never unsee them.
2. Abolish The Poke
No one uses it except for creeps and weird uncles.
3. A Dislike Button
This could make Facebook a more negative, judgmental place...but the real world isn't thumbs up 24/7! When someone posts they lost their job or their team lost the game, a thumbs down is all you need to show your sympathy or support.
4. A Singles Feed
The new Facebook design lets you customize feeds, but we want it to automatically separate fun single friends from the married-with-children set. They just have better stories, pictures and travels. And when that one girl from college pops back into your "Singles" feed, BOOM, make your move!
5. Hide Useless "Likes"
23 of your friends like Wal-Mart? 175 of them like "Food"? Really? That's so exciting, you'll have a panic attack if Facebook doesn't hide it...so please, Facebook, do.