Today’s Dumbasses: Couple Ate Razors To Extort Grocery Store

donut razor couple
Photo: Draper Police Dept.

Mmm, donuts…mmm, razorblades?

Police in Utah allege that Carole Lee Leazer-Hardman and Michael Condor placed razor fragments in donuts from Smith’s Food and Drug store, and swallowed ‘em so they could get a cash settlement. X-rays showed the blades in their bellies.

Only problem is, the cops didn’t buy their story. “[T]hings weren’t adding up,” a sergeant told reporters. ‘Cause the bakery that supplied Smith’s made a ton of donuts, and none of the others had a razor filling. Condor soon confessed to the plot, police said.

In addition to extortion charges, the genius couple will also stand trial for assault due to allegedly giving an extra-crunchy donut to a coworker at the Dollar Tree where they worked. Even Homer Simpson’s get-rich-quick schemes are smarter than this.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog