5 Ways To Prank That PDA Couple

Gillette's Kiss & Tell Live National Experiment
Credit: Paul Marotta/Getty Images

Nobody wants to watch couples display their physical affection. Actually, that’s not true, but you’d probably rather watch it on the Internet than on a park bench when you’re trying to eat lunch. Who do they think they are, ruining your appetite?

You need to take ‘em down a peg or two, and we have you covered. Here’s five ways you can prank that PDA couple. Maybe next time they’ll get a room.

1. Photobomb ‘Em

Do they keep taking pictures of themselves kissing? Stand behind them, do something awesome. They’ll always cherish the tender memory of your wacky face…and the tender memory of their Photoshop class.

2. Temple Of Doom

Turn any couple into Indy and Willie in the scariest scene from “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” by letting a few slimy bugs crawl all over them. This freakout tactic works best at a park or beach, where there’s easier access to insects and shellfish.

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3. Spread The Gospel

Throw any religion’s bible at the offending couple. It doesn’t matter which religion, as long as they don’t see you. It’ll confuse the hell out of them.

4. The Other Girlfriend Surprise

Convince the toughest girl you know to pretend that she’s also dating the guy, and then blow up his PDA spot with a “who the f*** is this slut?” rant. If she goes fast enough, he won’t be able to get a word in to defend himself, even though he’s innocent of cheating.

(Ideally, you should pull this prank if the girl’s straddling the guy, so he’ll reflexively toss her from his lap, which will definitely keep him from getting any more action that day.)

5. Fireworks

All right, don’t actually light pyrotechnics near the couple–that would be dangerous, and probably illegal–but you can still give them a good enough scare to rethink suckin’ face in public again. Download fireworks sound effects mp3s (easy to find), then blast ‘em on portable speakers right next to the lovebirds at full volume.

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Charlie Kasov (@charliekasov) is a comedian and editor of Pride Incredulous.