5 Scary STD Symptoms That You (Maybe) Didn't Get From STDs

Credit: Mario Tama/Getty Images

Humans live in constant fear of disease, and there's no disease scarier than an STD. (Well, if your primary concern is getting laid ever again, anyway.) Paranoia is natural, especially 'cause so many STD symptoms overlap with relatively harmless maladies.

When in doubt, get tested...but you might not need to panic.

1. Cold Sores

You sloppily made out with that chick in the corner of a dive bar. Now you've got a bulging red blob on your upper lip. It's HERPES, right? Well, there's a difference between type 1 and type 2. Grab some Orajel--it's not the end of the world.

2. Ingrown Hair

A giant bump on your lip is one thing...but on your junk?! You pray it's a zit, but the Clearasil sure ain't working. You're about to visit the free clinic when you notice a short-and-curly under the skin. Be more careful next time you manicure that lawn.

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3. Urinary Tract Infections

The morning after a drunken one-night stand, you head to the bathroom and piss razor blades. Oh God, why did you go home with that stripper? FYI, it's most likely a UTI. "Clean out the pipes" a little more after sex.

4. Rash

You pull your shorts down for some self-love, and notice deep red discolorations. Scabies? Or a common skin rash. (Maybe you shouldn't create so much friction down there...)

5. Sore Balls

You're bent over in pain, feeling as if you've been kicked in the coconuts like a bad guy in some Adam Sandler movie. Chlamydia? Well, let's just say those ultra-tight skinny jeans aren't doing you any favors in the comfort department.

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Aaron Goldfarb (@aarongoldfarb) is the author of How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide.

Tags Condoms, Health, Men's Health, std, STDs, the show