The Worst Sex Tips On The Internet

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Everybody’s a little different in the bedroom, but some fantasies are too bizarre/painful for 99.9% of humanity. That other .1%, though? They somehow get jobs dispensing sex advice for the rest of us. Dumb As A Blog collects the absolute worst sex tips online:

1. Balloons

DUMB SEX ADVICE: “Take turns blowing [a balloon] up and slowly releasing the air, tracing a path over each other’s naked skin.” (Source: RedBookMag.com)

WHY THIS SEX ADVICE IS DUMB: Is this sex advice for birthday clowns?

2. Doughnuts

DUMB SEX ADVICE: “Slip a glazed doughnut around his manhood and nibble it off.” (Source: Cosmopolitan.com)

WHY THIS SEX ADVICE IS DUMB: A threesome with a ring-shaped fried cake is not a fantasy that men have. Other threesome fantasies he will never have: female/male/bundt cake, female/male/everything bagel, female/male/cannoli.

3. Marbles

DUMB SEX ADVICE: “Chill a bunch of marbles in the fridge. Toss them on the bed and make him lie on them while you straddle him.” (Source: Cosmopolitan.com)

WHY THIS SEX ADVICE IS DUMB: This sounds like something the character Jigsaw from the “Saw” movies might be into.

MORE: “13 Dumb Sex Tips From The Internet”

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