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When Andrew W.K. announced that he'd be the new spokesman for Playtex Fresh + Sexy Wipes ("Whether you just finished rocking a packed club or have an intimate encounter after a busy day, this product will make couples feel brand new," he said in a press release), it caused a media firestorm. And it also caused a firestorm here at Guy Code Blog, 'cause we've been on the male wipes train for months.
We asked the hard-partying rock star for his thoughts on everything from personal hygiene to... uh... Brad Pitt and self-fellatio? You're not gonna have a normal conversation with this dude, but you'll definitely have a fun one.
How did Playtex approach you about this endorsement?
Personally I was given this product, the Fresh + Sexy Wipes, to help me be a little bit better of my own self. There's times when I've realized I'm not a very clean individual, but I always wanted to be clean where it counts. Playtex saw that, the potential I had in that realm, the realm, I really mean that realm, that intimate realm.
I'm not the cleanest guy in the world. I'm headbanging 24, 25 hours a day at this point. I could use a little help in that department, to freshen. I don't need it. I don't need this. Nobody NEEDS this. You WANT this. You don't NEED to clean yourself. You just need to drink water and eat some kind of food. You make choices about what you want, what you desire, what you deserve.
Brad Pitt, he's as handsome and beautiful as a man can get. He really is great. He's got a lot of chutzpah, a lot to offer. I wouldn't say he's taken a lot of risks, but if he wants to clean himself up, that's fine, all right? Actually, I don't think he's that great. He's got a nice face. Just growing a beard, that doesn't do it. That doesn't count.
Yeah, you're right. I take it back.
You're going to do a "Confession Booth" at SXSW in Austin. What kind of confessions are you expecting to hear?
We want people to tell me about their intimate experiences. We're trying to learn, we're trying to relate, to get close to the source. Anything you experience, we want to hear about it.
Do you normally get strange confessions from fans?
I couldn't talk about those folks. A lot of suicides.
Oh Jesus, man, we were going for "wacky" with that question, not "dark."
That's not a happy place you've asked to go into. That's the road it goes down.
Uh... moving on...
Again, Brad Pitt is a very handsome young man. He's done a great job--jutted his jaw out, that is a lot. Very tiring, very tiring on a Hollywood movie set. He's done so much. He's right up there in the great American Hollywood performers. The depth of, of, of, of, of, of--he knows, he knows he's probably gone beyond Pacino, gone beyond Nicholson. He should feel so proud of himself.
The last time you talked with Guy Code Blog, you were appearing at a "My Little Pony" convention. What did you learn from that experience?
Beautiful young creatures. I learned that, again, ponies are wonderful creatures. They're hearty, they're forthright, they're respectable and also hardcore. I also learned about horses. They're focused, they're caring...
Did you see that IKEA served horse meat in its meatballs?
IKEA serves meatballs?
Yeah, they have cafeterias in the stores. Are you a vegetarian?
I try to consume as much meat as possible, starting with my own. It's not easy--you have to have a very flexible back. You build up that flexibility through yoga. 93% of all men engaged in yoga are trying to satisfy and self-appoint their own meat.
You're the king of partying. What are the worst party fouls a guy can commit?
There is none. There is no party foul. Much to the chagrin of perhaps you, and perhaps AXE Body Spray, you don't have to do anything. Be yourself, show up. 'You have to do this,' 'you shouldn't do that'--that's the antithesis of what we're talking about here. No! No! No! No!
I'm just kidding.
We can't party as hard as we did 10 years ago. Do you have that problem?
I've experienced the opposite. I'm overwhelmed at this point. The levels of intensity when it comes to life in general...you make your choice to not go down that road of complacency and ease. And while you have this beautiful gift of life and consciousness, explore and do not take the easy road out.
A lot of people out there want to see us 'just go along,' la-di-da. Don't do that!