Today’s Dumbass: Pantsless Woman Flees DUI Scene In Toy Truck

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Photo: Craighead Co. Sherriff’s Office

When you break the law, you need a dependable getaway vehicle…one that isn’t manufactured by Fisher-Price.

Last weekend, police in Jonesboro, Arkansas arrested 28-year-old Jamie Jeanette Craft for allegedly A) driving while intoxicated and without a license, B) crashing her 2001 Pontiac Grand Am into a family’s trailer, C) trying to escape the scene in a child’s motorized plastic truck and D) not wearing any pants, because why would she wear pants?

The homeowner reportedly forced Craft out of his son’s vehicle. (He didn’t have much trouble catching up, since it could only travel five miles per hour.) She yelled at him, “irate and very intoxicated,” according to police, who then booked her for a number of progressively more hilarious charges.

Drunk driving is a serious crime, of course, but we just realized that we can finally afford the Hot Wheels that our parents always refused to buy us–and the beer.

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