Why You Shouldn’t Complain About Your Ex

couple fighting
Credit: Chris Tobin via Getty Images

Sometimes a breakup isn’t a breakup. Sometimes a breakup is actually just a fight that gets labeled a breakup in haste. Sometimes your ex is your next…unless you’ve complained about her to everyone you mutually know.

Guys, when you break up with your girlfriend, keep your fat mouth shut. At least for a little while. If Facebook tells you anything, it’s that people argue and then quickly reconcile all the time. But what happens in that interim–relationship purgatory if you will–often can’t be undone.

So, if you and your lady friend part ways, you better be 100% unequivocally positive that she’s out of your life forever. If you tell all your buddies that she was cheating on you with the mailman (and you have the homemade video to prove it), and then you get back together with her a few weeks later, guess what? You forgave her, but your friends likely haven’t.

This happens all the time. When you’re in the middle of a nasty breakup, filled to the brim with piss and vinegar, venom and vitriol, you’re likely to let more than a few cats out of more than a few bags. And then, once the smoke clears, guess who you’re bringing to your pal’s BBQ?

People can’t unhear things. Always remember that. Complain about your “ex” at your own risk.

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Peter Hoare (@PeterHoare) is a screenwriter and incredible human being.