Should Wiz Khalifa Let His Son Sebastian Play Football?

The 55th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet
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It’s official: Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose have created a child. Sebastian “The Bash” Taylor Thomaz was born on Thursday, (hopefully that nickname had nothing to do with the delivery). Khalifa’s a die-hard Pittsburgh Steelers fan and “Bash” is the perfect football nickname. But with all the controversy surrounding football-related brain injuries, should Wiz and Amber let their son play? Whichever they choose, they’ll be setting an example for others, just as Adrian Peterson did when he said he would never let his son play. Let’s look at the pros and cons of letting Wiz’s kid, or anyone’s kid, toss the ol’ pigskin.

Pro: Learning Discipline

Having two famous parents may make Lil Sebastian jaded, but a screaming football coach and three hours of grueling practice every day after school will set him straight.

Con: It Might Be The Wrong Kind Of Discipline

That screaming coach might be a nut-job who treats your kid’s Pop Warner team like it’s the NFL and screams at your kid for doing his homework instead of doing 500 pull-ups.

Pro: Learning Teamwork

Sure, football has its stars and bench-warmers, but those stars can only shine when the other 10 players are working together to create a play for him. At the least, your son will know how to work well with others and how to build mutual trust.

Con: He Might Lose His Personality

Not all football players are dumb jocks, but if his team is too tightly knit, he won’t know how to make friends outside of football or date outside of cheerleaders. Wait, that last part doesn’t sound too bad.

Pro: Staying In Shape

This country’s got a fatty problem, and football is a really active sport. Even offensive linemen–the ones who aren’t too busy eating a dozen pancakes for every pancake block–are healthy and fit.

Con: Nagging Injuries

The game’s hard on joints, ligaments and tendons. The longer your kid plays, the more likely he is to get arthritis. However, it would be cool to be 65 years old and able to out-box your 40-year-old son.

Pro: Sweet Nicknames

Wiz gave his son the nickname “Bash” because he knew the deal. Football players always get cool nicknames, like “Moose” or “Truckface.” You’ll swell with pride when you hear thousands of fans yelling, “Moose! Moose! Knock that QB’s front teeth loose!”

Con: He Could Become His Nickname

The biggest problem with football right now is the recent spate of retired NFL players committing suicide after developing a rare brain disease caused by suffering too many concussions. For every player who’s taken his own life, several more have the disease, which leaves them disoriented, slow, and generally unable to carry on a normal life.

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Charlie Kasov (@charliekasov) is a comedian and cockroach/lady killer .