How To Cook The Official ‘Guy Code’ Burger

guy code burger

Every guy loves a good burger. And we here at Guy Code Blog love this one enough to call it our own.

Chef Paul Malvone, co-founder of Boston Burger Company and certified ground beef junkie, recently offered to design a recipe just for “Guy Code” viewers. The dude won a Food Network burger competition (and is feeding the masses at the upcoming Amstel Light Burger Bash), so we know he’s legit. Still, we wanted to taste this baby before we endorsed it.

Yeah, holy s***, we endorse it. The Guy Code Burger is an assault of flavor. At first glance the recipe had everything to get us drooling, and it delivered. The 3 B’s (Beef, Bacon, BBQ Sauce) are well-represented. Keep on reading for the instructions–along with helpful photos–so you too can experience Burger Nirvana.

First off, get some Lawry’s Seasoned Salt. This is the stuff you dust your patty with. Chef Malvone recommends using 80/20 certified Angus ground beef.

Lawrys

Next, pan-fry the meat ’til it reaches your preferred doneness. You like it Tarantino-style with blood splashing all over the place? A couple minutes on each side will suit you fine. If you like it deader than Bambi’s mom, then 4-5 minutes on each side is perfect.

burger in pan

Once your beef is cooked, remove it from the pan and drape it in paper towels to sop up any grease drips. (Settle down, you’ll be salvaging that delicious grease later on.)

Next is the beer batter. You thought this burger was straight-up slapped on a bun? Wrong, tough guy. The Guy Code Burger is beer mothaf***in’ battered! Chef Malvone suggests tempura flour and a light ale such as Amstel Light.

It starts like this:

flour beer

But ends like this:

beer batter

It should look and spill like pancake batter. (Pay close attention to your beer-to-flour ratio and you’ll get there.) Once it’s thick enough, drown that burger in the batter. Both sides. Smother it! Dunk that thing like you just caught it in bed with your girl.

Meanwhile, pour a ton of canola oil in your pan and heat it back up. (You can also squeeze out those paper towels. We told you to save that delicious grease!) When the oil reaches 350 degrees, you know what to do. Fry. That. Burger.

fried burger 1

That’s it! You got it! See that patty getting golden brown? Flip that thing!

fried burger 2

When it’s so golden that it could’ve descended from heaven, remove it from the oil and set aside. Keep your hunger under control, ’cause it’s Bacon Time. Cook up a few strips.

bacon

While the bacon fries, melt some American cheese on top of the patty. Then, lay it on your favorite roll. (We went with a potato roll ’cause they’re soft and make our burgers taste like clouds of beef that were formed by naked Goddesses.)

While you’re at it, grab a bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce, too. When your bacon is done, add it on top. Your finished product should look like this:

guy code burger 1

It’s…it’s beautiful. We might ::sniff:: we might cry. Pull yourself together, man, and plow into that thing with your mouth.

Guy Code Burger Bite

Now THAT’S a burger. Our final verdict is: thumbs frikkin’ up! It’s loaded with flavor and satisfies every craving.

However, it might be a speed bump for guys who aren’t too familiar in a kitchen. On a difficulty scale of 1-10, it’s a 7. Have at it if you’re an experienced burger chef. Otherwise, enlist some help.

Also: Clear your schedule, ’cause this thing induces a Thanksgiving-level food coma.

food coma

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RG Daniels (@RGDaniels) is a comedian and writer in Brooklyn, NY.