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Photos: Getty Images, Wikipedia
Midway through the Ohio State/Wisconsin Badgers game this past weekend, we got to wondering: What the heck does a badger actually look like? Maybe we saw a photograph in elementary school, but the memory's faded and we're pretty sure it doesn't look like chipper Bucky Badger, seen above next to his real-life counterpart. (Although classic fierce Bucky Badger comes closer.)
Which got us thinking: Do any anthropomorphic NCAA mascots resemble the s*** they're supposed to be? Here's a completely unscientific examination--a virtual safari, let's call it--comparing silly costumes with Mother Nature's renderings.
1. Chip, Colorado's American buffalo
Photos: Getty Images, Wikipedia
What's with the yellow face, Chip?
2. Goldy, Minnesota's golden gopher
Photos: Getty Images, Wikipedia
Minny took some liberties with the ears...and habitat.
3. Bruiser, Baylor's bear
Photos: Getty Images
More ferocious than Baylor's real bears, Joy and Lady, one of which is enjoying a fresh coconut.
4. Truman, Missouri's tiger
Photos: Getty Images, Wikipedia
A bit too orange and way too chill. The real tiger is clearly about to murder something.
5. The Billiken, Saint Louis's Billiken!
Photos: SLU
Not even the university is sure how it became associated with this mythical good luck charm. But there you see it, clearly lacking a rotund belly. And exposed nipples.
6. Big Al, Alabama's elephant
Photos: Getty Images, Wikipedia
We're guessing (hoping) the tusks were removed for safety, not by ivory poachers on campus.
7. Cayenne, ULL Ragin Cajun's red pepper
Photos: BR/chilipeppermadness
Not bad!
8. Albert, Florida's alligator
Photos: Getty Images
Missing those spiky things and a bit too green.
9. Sparty, Michigan State's Spartan warrior
Photos: Getty Images
Nailed it, although Sparty (like the Billiken) could use a little more nipple.
10. Sebastian, Miami's American white ibis
Photos: Getty Images, Wikipedia
It's hard to design a hurricane costume, so Miami uses the bird that's supposedly the last to leave before hurricanes and the first to return afterwards. Looks more like a duck.
11. The Stanford Tree, the University's dancing conifer
Photos: Getty Images, Wikipedia
Fairly accurate, if you can get past the deranged, "Little Shop of Horrors" face.
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