Analyzing Weird Celebrity Cameos In Your Dreams

superman shrink
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Everybody tries to interpret their dreams. You might even pay a psychologist hundreds of bucks per hour to analyze your recurring nightmare of riding a dolphin into a sea of J√§germeister with some girl from summer camp. That”s bizarre enough, but what does it mean when famous people creep into your nocturnal thoughts?

Well, we ain”t shrinks, but–based on each celebrity”s personality–here”s some guesses at what your subconscious is trying to tell you…

1. Paul Giamatti

Rock Of Ages - European Film Premiere
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If…Paul Giamatti is in your dream, then…you are about to bubble over in rage. You might have some festering anger that could explode at any moment. You must relax. Take things easy. Have a few donuts, maybe a cheeseburger, and chill out.

2. Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga & The Launch Of V61 Hosted By V Magazine & Marc Jacobs
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If…Lady Gaga is in your dream, then…you want to stand out. That”s cool, but wearing hats made of squirrel tails and jackets with Twix wrappers glued on them around your office is not the best way to seem unique. If you”re selling out arenas, then yes. If you”re at the copy machine or stocking inventory, then no.

3. Dwight Howard

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If…Dwight Howard is in your dream, then…you fear moving ahead in life despite how talented you are. Even worse, everything around you has been set up for you to succeed, but you are still afraid to take that giant step forward. Man up, assert yourself, and become the champion everyone thinks you are. Otherwise, get out of the way and let someone else do it!

4. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Credit: Warner Bros.

IfJGL is in your dream, then…either “Inception” is real, or you might have some unacknowledged desires, buddy. And that”s fine, just like him.

5. James Franco

"Sal" Photocall - 68th Venice Film Festival
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If…James Franco is in your dream, then…well, you might have some of those unacknowledged desires, but you”re probably just smoking too much weed. Y”know, “cause James frikkin” Franco is in your dream?

6. Steve-O

Jackass 24 Hour MTV Takeover
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If…Steve-O is in your dream, then…it”s time to grow up. Sure, he”s hilarious and made a successful career out of doing crazy s***, but you”re not a professional. You”re just a guy stapling your balls to your butt cheeks or snorting wasabi “til you puke, and you”re not getting any younger.

7. Melanie Iglesias, Lisa Ramos & April Rose

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If…Melanie Iglesias, Lisa Ramos and April Rose are in your dream, then…you”re super horny. You don”t need a psychologist to tell you that.

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RG Daniels (@RGDaniels) is a comedian and writer in Brooklyn, NY.