How To Make Up For F***ing Up Valentine’s Day

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Credit: Spiderstock/Getty Images

It’s February 15th and you just woke up alone. The sad part is, you actually had a date for Valentine’s Day; you just took her to Chipotle for dinner (“You love that Burrito Bowl, babe!”) and a dive bar for drinks (to catch the end of a game), capped off with a midnight showing of “A Good Day to Die Hard.” Awesome night for you, not so much for her.

As if that weren’t bad enough, at this very moment her coworkers are asking her, “Soooo, what did [your name] plan for Valentine’s Day?” So now she thinks you’re cheap, selfish and embarrassing. You f***ed up, buddy. Here’s how to fix this disaster.

1. Own Up To It

Admit you dropped the ball. Don’t even try to make excuses. Good thing “Guy Code” just taught you how to apologize (watch full episode here).

2. Take Two

If you bought her cheap flowers or a cheap dinner, you’ve gotta go the extra mile for the next night out. And it’s not (just) about money; it’s about memory.

Try thinking back to all those times she said “oh, that’s cute” or “I love hydrangeas” or “let’s try that new Italian place” while you tuned her out, trying to remember if you set the DVR. ‘Cause what ladies value more than a guy who blows cash is a guy who listens.

3. The Gift

When you piss off a friend, you buy him a beer. When you piss off a girlfriend, you’ve gotta put more thought into your peace offering. For example, a framed photo shows dedication, both to her and to finding a place that actually prints photos these days.

4. Something Extra

A symphony, a chick flick, a museum, ice-skating, an AA meeting… just pick something that you know she’ll enjoy doing, then pretend you’re having the time of your life.

So, how can you tell if you’ve successfully made up for botching Valentine’s Day? Trust us, she’ll let you know. Godspeed.

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Kara Klenk (@karaklenk) is a comedian in New York.