10 Valentine’s Day Cards That Are Actually Funny

Valentine's Day Spirit Grips The U.S.
Credit: Jessica Rinaldi/Getty Images

You’ve bought the flowers (or stolen them off some grave) and the gift (or just made a cute “I’ll Admit You’re Right” coupon)… but you can’t forget the card. Because for some reason girls care about the card. The thing is, so many Valentine’s Day cards are corny as hell, and that’s not your style. You’re a hilarious dude, and Hallmark isn’t going to reflect that.

Don’t worry, we have you covered. Here’s the most romantic yet awesome cards of all time.

1. Beats A Teddy Bear

BearChainsaw
Photo: imgur

2. In Sickness And In Health… But Mostly Sickness

centipede
Photo: imgur

3. If Your Girlfriend Can’t Read

gesture
Photo: imgur

4. For The Woman Who Values Honesty

sex
Photo: imgur

5. Creepy? Sweet? Both?

gun
Photo: imgur

6. Butt I Love You

butt
Photo: imgur

7. For The Woman With A Twisted Sense Of Humor

mein
Photo: imgur

8. Love Me Tender

cage
Photo: imgur

9. “Your” Perfect The Way You Are

your
Photo: imgur

10. Make It A “Baywatch” Night

Hoff
Photo: imgur

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Neal Stastny (@NealStas) is a comedian and writer in New York.