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NBA All-Star Weekend is right around the corner. Traditionally held slightly after mid-season, the weekend is a chance to reflect on the Association as it's played out so far. There are the usual questions surrounding the Lakers' chemistry and the Knicks' realistic chances of making the Finals. However, we decided to address the lack of creativity and absence of nicknames around the NBA. It seems that more and more players are emerging from the lower rungs and coming into their own. We love a good nickname as much as anyone, so we decided to shine a light on some of these players. Some are All-Stars, some are hard-working hustlers and we included a few who do not deserve to be left off the hook for their recent actions.
Larry Sanders is "The Inspector" as in "Inspector Gadget" as in "Go Go Gadget Arms" as in "Get the f**k outta my way so I can grab this rebound!"
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Dwight Howard is "Dwight Coward" as in "I'm afraid of Kobe, a large market, making people mad and playing through injuries."
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Royce White is "Rollz" as in "Rolls Royce" as in "I ain't gettin' on that airplane!" as in "Ride in style by scaring back that fear of flying with a Rolls Royce Ghost."
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The Golden State Warriors are "The Bay City Ballers" as in "The Bay City Rollers" as in "Straight-Up Hoops are BACK in San Fran" as in "The dime-dishin', board-crashin', net-spalshin' Dubs are running the break and defenses can't keep up."
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Jrue Holiday is "Spark Griswold" as in Clark Griswold as in "National Lampoon's Vacation" as in "Holiday Vacation" as in "Jrue Holiday's destined to send teams home early for vacation once May rolls around."
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Iman Shumpert is "The Boxcutter" as in "That high-top fade, box cut 'do" as in "You're about to get boxed out, Chump!"
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Brook Lopez is "The Bridge" as in "The Brooklyn Bridge" as in "Bridging Brooklyn closer to a title" as in "Standing tall through traffic" as in "Creating lanes and finishing."
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Kevin Love is "Kevin Shells" as in "Eggshells" as in "Is this guy's bones made of eggshells?" as in "Stay healthy!" as in "Those hands must be made of glass 'cuz when Minnesota has an emergency, they always break."
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James Harden & Jeremy Lin are "The H-Town Hounds" as in "Houston's got an All-Star worthy backcourt!" as in "Houston's got a backcourt that's sniffin' out trouble" as in "James & Jeremy are houndin' for points and dimes."
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Kyrie Irving is "The Cavmanian Devil" as in "The Tasmanian Devil" as in "Kyrie Irving is comin' at'cha!" as in "The kids got moves so fast they'll make you dizzy" as in "Hands-down B-E-A-S-T on the court" (plus, he was born in Australia).
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