Today’s Dumbass: MLB Star Gets DUI While Driving To Buy Lottery Tickets

Todd Helton DUI Mug Shot
Credit: Thornton Police

Colorado Rockies first baseman Todd Helton‘s recent arrest for drunk driving gave us one of the greatest celebrity mug shots of all time. And, it turns out the mug shot isn’t the most embarrassing part of Todd Helton’s DUI.

The worst part of his arrest is why he was driving in the first place. According to Yahoo Sports, Helton, CURRENT PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE, was driving to the gas station near his house to buy lottery tickets! There’s no good reason to drive drunk, but at least Charles Barkley was trying to score oral sex when he got his DUI.

Most would argue that by getting paid millions of dollars to play baseball for a living, Helton has already won the lottery. He isn’t some scrub either. Baseball Reference.com estimates the All Star’s career salary at over $150 million. That kind of money can buy a mansion, a Bentley with chauffeur and an ass load of lottery tickets.

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Sean Green is a standup comedian and podcast host living in Los Angeles