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Photos: seriouseats/tumblr
Only a moron claims that real men don't cook. Food's the best, and your next BBQ will be even better with a Stone Age meat tenderizer and a teapot hilariously shaped like a boner. Here's a bunch of kitchen accessories--some homemade, others sold commercially--that'll help turn your kitchen into your man cave. Ready? Let's get cookin'.
1. Batman kitchen apron
Photo: tomztoyz
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na APRON!
2. Bullet ice cube tray
Photo: menkind
Full ice cube jacket.
3. Caveman meat tenderizer, dicer
Photo: seriouseats
Beat your meat like our ancestors did.
4. Cock and balls tea pot
When your tea whistles, your girlfriend will too.
5. Bacon kitchen towel
Photo: thinkgeek
Wipes up the grease so you can squeeze it back into the dish.
6. Bogey man egg separator
Photo: menkind
No more egg shards in your omelet, if you don't mind the snot.
7. Guitar spatula
Photo: menkind
For those about to cook: We salute you.
8. Brass knuckle tenderizer
Photo: culturewave
And when you're done grilling, bring it to a fight.
9. Knife holder
Photo: geekologie
We always heard cooking's a good way to get your rage out.
10. Circular saw pizza cutter
Photo: trendhunter
Construct your master-pizza, then cut it like a boss.
11. Talking remote meat thermometer
Photo: Amazon
Talk to your meat from any room in the house. (If it talks back, turn up the oven heat.)
12. "Bakeball Bat" rolling pin
Photo: trendhunter
It's always cookie time while the hot stove warms. Batter up.
13. Hot sauce spray torch
Photo: imgur
When just a drop of the hot stuff won't suffice.
14. A steamer, made by Cleveland
Photo: imgur
Not to be confused with... actually, we're not even gonna let it enter our minds.
15. Gangster cheese grater
Photo: telegraph
Those bullet holes perfectly carve up hard-to-grate Parmesan cheese. Also good for when some snitch goes against the family.
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