15 Manly Kitchen Accessories [Photos]

Photos: seriouseats/tumblr

Only a moron claims that real men don’t cook. Food’s the best, and your next BBQ will be even better with a Stone Age meat tenderizer and a teapot hilariously shaped like a boner. Here’s a bunch of kitchen accessories–some homemade, others sold commercially–that’ll help turn your kitchen into your man cave. Ready? Let’s get cookin’.

1. Batman kitchen apron

Photo: tomztoyz

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na APRON!

2. Bullet ice cube tray

Photo: menkind

Full ice cube jacket.

3. Caveman meat tenderizer, dicer

Photo: seriouseats

Beat your meat like our ancestors did.

4. Cock and balls tea pot

When your tea whistles, your girlfriend will too.

5. Bacon kitchen towel

Photo: thinkgeek

Wipes up the grease so you can squeeze it back into the dish.

6. Bogey man egg separator

Photo: menkind

No more egg shards in your omelet, if you don’t mind the snot.

7. Guitar spatula

Photo: menkind

For those about to cook: We salute you.

8. Brass knuckle tenderizer

Photo: culturewave

And when you’re done grilling, bring it to a fight.

9. Knife holder

Photo: geekologie

We always heard cooking’s a good way to get your rage out.

10. Circular saw pizza cutter

Photo: trendhunter

Construct your master-pizza, then cut it like a boss.

11. Talking remote meat thermometer

Photo: Amazon

Talk to your meat from any room in the house. (If it talks back, turn up the oven heat.)

12. “Bakeball Bat” rolling pin

Photo: trendhunter

It’s always cookie time while the hot stove warms. Batter up.

13. Hot sauce spray torch

Photo: imgur

When just a drop of the hot stuff won’t suffice.

14. A steamer, made by Cleveland

Photo: imgur

Not to be confused with… actually, we’re not even gonna let it enter our minds.

15. Gangster cheese grater

Photo: telegraph

Those bullet holes perfectly carve up hard-to-grate Parmesan cheese. Also good for when some snitch goes against the family.

+ Follow Guy Code on TwitterFacebook and Tumblr

Brett Smiley @brettsmiley is going to buy a new deep fryer this weekend.