15 Manly Kitchen Accessories [Photos]


Photos: seriouseats/tumblr

Only a moron claims that real men don’t cook. Food’s the best, and your next BBQ will be even better with a Stone Age meat tenderizer and a teapot hilariously shaped like a boner. Here’s a bunch of kitchen accessories–some homemade, others sold commercially–that’ll help turn your kitchen into your man cave. Ready? Let’s get cookin’.

1. Batman kitchen apron


Photo: tomztoyz

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na APRON!

2. Bullet ice cube tray


Photo: menkind

Full ice cube jacket.

3. Caveman meat tenderizer, dicer


Photo: seriouseats

Beat your meat like our ancestors did.

4. Cock and balls tea pot

When your tea whistles, your girlfriend will too.

5. Bacon kitchen towel


Photo: thinkgeek

Wipes up the grease so you can squeeze it back into the dish.

6. Bogey man egg separator


Photo: menkind

No more egg shards in your omelet, if you don’t mind the snot.

7. Guitar spatula


Photo: menkind

For those about to cook: We salute you.

8. Brass knuckle tenderizer


Photo: culturewave

And when you’re done grilling, bring it to a fight.

9. Knife holder


Photo: geekologie

We always heard cooking’s a good way to get your rage out.

10. Circular saw pizza cutter


Photo: trendhunter

Construct your master-pizza, then cut it like a boss.

11. Talking remote meat thermometer


Photo: Amazon

Talk to your meat from any room in the house. (If it talks back, turn up the oven heat.)

12. “Bakeball Bat” rolling pin


Photo: trendhunter

It’s always cookie time while the hot stove warms. Batter up.

13. Hot sauce spray torch


Photo: imgur

When just a drop of the hot stuff won’t suffice.

14. A steamer, made by Cleveland


Photo: imgur

Not to be confused with… actually, we’re not even gonna let it enter our minds.

15. Gangster cheese grater


Photo: telegraph

Those bullet holes perfectly carve up hard-to-grate Parmesan cheese. Also good for when some snitch goes against the family.

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Brett Smiley @brettsmiley is going to buy a new deep fryer this weekend.