Guy French Kisses His Mom To Get Drugs In Jail

William Partridge, a 30-year-old inmate at New York’s Yates County Jail, had a conjugal visit of the creepiest kind, according to local police. They arrested his 54-year-old mother, Kimberly Margeson, for smuggling Oxycodone into the prison, which she allegedly “passed … from her mouth to her son’s mouth when she kissed him.”

This isn’t just breaking Guy Code; it’s breaking human code! Sure, give your sweet ol’ mom a peck on the cheek–but if you’re locking lips and swirling tongues, it’s time to call Dr. Freud. Besides, what kind of man turns his mother into a drug mule? And what kind of woman gives her son illegal painkillers like a mama bird feeding its young?

Anyway, Margeson–who’s free on $2,000 bail–pleaded not guilty. We’ll go ahead and take her at her word, ’cause then maybe we’ll be free of this horrific mental image…

(Nope. Still there. Forever, probably. Just like a mother’s love.)

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog