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When women of the Bible come to mind, you normally think of nice, wholesome ladies walking around with buckets of water on their heads, caring for loads of children. (And they have “hab” somewhere in their names–Achab, Rahab, Bethabara, you get the idea.)
But the Holy Book definitely had its fair share of bad girls. And we’re not talking bad girls with a rough exterior and a heart of gold; we’re talking some who are downright evil. From Delilah (who chopped off Samson’s hair) to the infamous Jezebel (who was just a total pain in God’s ass), these are women whom the devil himself wouldn’t dare to mess with.
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Verse: 2 Samuel 11:1-26
Notorious for: Cheating on her husband with King David.
Story goes: While Bathsheba’s soldier husband was away, she got it on with King David. Then she got pregnant. David sent word that hubby (Joab) was to be put at the front lines of battle so he’d die. Bathsheba mourned for her husband for all of five seconds before marrying David. Now that’s cold.
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Verse: Acts 5:1-11
Notorious for: Stealing money from the church.
Story goes: Sapphira and her husband pocketed a chunk of change from a land deal that was supposed to go to the apostles. When one of Jesus’ crew confronted her, she lied about taking a cut. God wasn’t too happy so she dropped dead on the spot. A warning to shady real estate agents everywhere.
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Verse: Judges 16
Notorious for: Betrayed the man who loved her for dolla dolla bills.
Story goes: Samson fell in love with a prostitute named Delilah. The Philistines put a price on Samson’s head if Delilah could find out his weakness. Three times Delilah asked him about it, and three times Samson lied (smart man). He finally got sick of her nagging and told her the truth: His hair was the source of his strength. So Delilah put him to sleep, had his braids cut from his head and let his enemies come gouge his eyes out before taking him away. I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but…
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Verse: 1 & 2 Kings
Notorious for: Overall enemy of God.
Story goes: Jezebel, known as a “she-devil,” worshiped the god Baal, had countless Jewish prophets killed and generally caused mayhem through her wicked ways. In the end, it didn’t work out too well: Her own people threw her out of a window–blood splattering everywhere as she fell–and then soldiers speared her as she was trampled beneath horses and dogs ate her flesh. Ouch.
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Verse: Genesis 2:7-3:23
Notorious for: Oh, you know, just causing the fall of all mankind.
Story goes: Adam and Eve could do pretty much whatever they wanted. Public nudity? No big deal. God only had one rule: Don’t eat the fruit from a tree in the middle of the garden. So what does Eve do? Listens to some jerk snake who tells her to eat it. God exiled them from paradise and now we all live in sin. All because some ladies just can’t control their appetites.