A Few Online Dating Red Flags You Should Never Miss

Photo via onlinedatingfail.wordpress.com

Match.com. OkCupid. PlentyOfFish. There are a slew of Internet dating sites out there, and they’ve become a completely legitimate and viable means of finding a mate. We all know someone who met their girlfriend or wife online. It works.

But you still must navigate these waters with supreme caution. For every guy who finds a perfect 10, there are a bunch of others who wind up like Manti Te’o. Whether you already have an online dating profile or are just thinking of signing up for one, keep your eyes open for these red flags and message with caution.

1. The 45-Degree Angle Picture

This is online dating’s most common form of false advertising, and it’s as devious as it is flattering, designed to hide a woman’s body while making her face appear as thin as possible. Sadly, there are far too many ladies out there pretending to look like Eva Mendes when they actually look more like Luis Guzman. Nobody’s buying it, sista. Quit the faux-to shoots.

2. She’s A “Model”

If a girl has nothing but modeling pictures on her profile, you should be on high alert. She’s so physically flawless that corporations write her checks just to pose for photos? She probably doesn’t need to search for dudes online. (Haven’t you ever watched “Catfish“?)

3. No TV? No Date

In most major cities, many twenty-something girls–at least, the hipsterish ones on dating sites–mention on their profiles that they don’t own a television. It’s an attempt to sound cultured, but it probably means they’re just boring snobs. (If you ask what’s her favorite movie, she says, “I don’t watch movies; I watch films.” French ones.) They’ll constantly judge everything, including you

Besides, why would you want to date a woman who doesn’t own a TV? TV is great!

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Peter Hoare (@PeterHoare) is a screenwriter and dashingly handsome humorist.