The Pros And Cons Of 8 Classic First Date Ideas

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When you’re on a first date, it’s crucial to make a good first impression. You’ll be under intense scrutiny for several hours, sure, but she’ll probably make her mind up about you in the first few minutes–or even the first few seconds.

At least you can tip the scales in your favor by choosing the right location. If you meet in a fun or sophisticated environment, you’ll seem like a fun or sophisticated guy. But not every woman enjoys the same activities. Here’s a guide to help you make the right call.

For more on first dates, watch “Guy Code” Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2

1. Go To A Museum

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Pros: Show offs how smart and cultured you are. (If you’re neither, don’t worry, just sneak glances at Wikipedia on your phone.)

Cons: She might get bored quick. In which case, offer her a swig from your flask. It’ll make you look slightly less nerdy.

2. Go To Dinner

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Pros: A meal allows for intimate conversation, and shows that you have cash to throw around. Just don’t take her to any place where you eat buffet style.

Cons: You might realize she’s a dud before the appetizers arrive, but there’s no classy way to leave. You’re stuck with an hour of boring stories about her semester abroad. Even worse, you’re stuck with the bill.

3. Go To A Bar

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Pros: A casual setting with plenty of booze to keep the conversation going. And unlike a restaurant, you can easily leave if it’s not going well.

Cons: Sometimes you’re an idiot when you drink. Plus, you can barely hear your date over some drunk guy’s rendition of “Sweet Caroline.” You ask him to stop; he challenges you to a fight in the alley. You accept, because sometimes you’re an idiot when you drink.

4. Go To A Movie

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Pros: You don’t have to be funny to make her laugh or thrilling to thrill her; let Hollywood professionals do it for you.

Cons: You get no sense of her personality, because you’re not actually having a conversation. Also, the old “Put Your Penis Through The Hole In The bottom Of The Popcorn Box” trick rarely works.

5. Go On A Picnic

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Pros: A classic cheap and romantic date. Bring a bottle of wine and do some day drinking in a classy setting.

Cons: It takes a very secure man to carry a picnic basket and appear ruggedly handsome at the same time.

6. Go On A Hot Air Balloon Ride

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Pros: Yes, this is a real date idea, which makes you look adventurous and original.

Cons: It’s kinda weird to make out in front of the guy who’s operating the balloon.

7. Go Indoor Rock Climbing

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Pros: You both get exercise and have fun laughing whenever one of you falls. If you’re holding the rope as she climbs, you’ll have a perfect excuse for staring at her butt.

Cons: The instructor, who’s probably in better shape than you, could easily hit on her while you’re halfway up the wall. Also, you’re going to sweat a bunch, so you’ll have to watch out for B.O., which wouldn’t leave a great first impression.

8. Go To An Amusement Park

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Pros: The roller coaster will get her adrenaline flowing; adrenaline can be a powerful aphrodisiac.

Cons: Motion sickness and puking in a garbage can is the opposite of an aphrodisiac.

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Neal Stastny (@NealStas) is a comedian and writer in New York City.