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Rappers like to boast about the size of their mansions, but they love to boast about the size of their members. From claims of uncanny sexual prowess to intentional comedic absurdity, a dong reference can always make a line zing. Here are 10 of the best and most outrageous dick references in rap, picked by the experts at Rap Genius.
10. Ying Yang Twins, “Wait (The Whisper Song)“
“You might had some, but you never had none like this/
Just wait ’til you see my dick”
Claiming to have the two best penises of all time, and expecting women to fall over at the mere sight of their members, the Ying Yang Twins fill an entire three minutes with dick boasts. It’s the dirtiest song that you can hear on the radio, setting a new standard for airplay-friendly genital hyperbole.
9. Ice Cube, “It Was a Good Day“
“And my dick runs deep, so deep/
So deep, put her ass to sleep”
Most guys are lucky to have a Good Ass Night, but Ice Cube has entire Good Ass Days. In this song, he breaks down the perfect dice game, the perfect cruise and the perfect breakfast. Oh yeah, and the perfect lay. Apparently sporting a massive penis, Cube’s sex game is so intense that it knocks a girl out and leaves her wanting more.
8. Afroman, “Colt 45“
“I c*** in her mouth, it was a crisis/
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices”
This is just a filthy song; every line is dirtier than the last. Still, Afroman (of “Because I Got High” fame) mixes the nasty and the hilarious, receiving oral sex from a woman in Kentucky who turns out to be Colonel Sanders’s wife. You’ll never eat KFC the same way again after hearing it.
7. Pharoahe Monch, “The Ass“
“My dick rules everything around me/
D.R.E.A.M., get the ass”
Playing off of the Wu-Tang classic “C.R.E.A.M.,” Pharoahe Monch (solo artist and member of Organized Konfusion) makes his penis the center of attention. It’s like the dick boast version of a “Weird Al” parody.
6. Kanye West, “Celebration“
“And I vow that my child will be well endowed/
Like his daddy”
Everybody wants the best for their offspring. So of course Kanye West wants his son to have a, uh, head start in life.
5. Lil Wayne, “Lollipop“
“She wanna lick, lick, lick, lick me like a lollipop”
We all know what “Lollipop” is about, so there’s no need to explain it. Still, there’s something brilliant about Lil Wayne scoring a legendary hit out of a joke about turning himself into a human candy shop.
4. Lil B, “Wonton Soup“
“Bitches suck my dick because I c** like 36 ways”
Lil B takes dick references to a level that no other rapper can touch, despite the nonsense about his Kama Sutra skills. Here, the Based God harkens back to the Wu’s “36 Chambers.” His entire discography is filled with such gems.
3. Lil Kim, “Suck My Dick“
“And if I was a dude/
I’d tell y’all to suck my dick”
She doesn’t even have a dick, but Lil Kim out-boasts most male rappers. She leaves nothing off-limits while telling her critics to back down, and even though the insult is hypothetical, it’s a good reminder not to mess around with the original queen.
2. Chris Brown, “Look at Me Now“
“Oops, I said on my dick/
I ain’t really mean to say on my dick/
But since we talking about my dick/
All of you haters say hi to it”
Maybe the most bizarre dick boast in rap history belongs to Chris Brown, who randomly introduces his penis mid-song, right before Busta Rhymes changes the subject completely. Another day, another Chris Brown mystery.
1. Kendrick Lamar, “Backseat Freestyle“
“I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower/
So I can f*** the world for 72 hours”
Kendrick Lamar couldn’t let his latest album close without a dick boast for the record books. Sure, he’s talking about worldwide fame and stature–not literally having sex with everybody/everything on Planet Earth–but it’s a pretty incredible way to drop the line.
+ For your guide to rap lyrics, check out Rap Genius