5 Appropriate Times To Cock Block A Friend [GIFs]

Cock blocking is a shameful behavior for guys. Oh, for chicks it might be the sign of a good friend, but no dude stops his buddy from getting laid. (He’s too drunk to notice the love handles and tramp stamp poking out of her low-cut jeans? It’s cool. It’s something for him to hold onto.)

But there are certain situations, however rare, when cock blocking is necessary for a friend’s own good. Because guys value a select few things more than sex: self-respect, STD-free junk and staying out of jail.

1. She’s A Grenade

This goes way past love handles and tramp stamps. Your friend has had too many tequila shots to notice her chin hairs and missing teeth. It’s your duty to protect him from waking up to this creature; if you have to, sound the grenade whistle right in his ear.

For more on cock blocking, watch “Guy Code” Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2

2. She Has A Disease

If your friend is too hammered to tell a babe from a grenade, he’ll miss the cold sores all over her mouth. You’d rather listen to him whine about blue balls for a night than about herpes outbreaks for a lifetime.

3. She’s Underage

Just don’t let him do it. We don’t care if she looks old for her age. Rules are meant to be broken, but not this one.

4. She’s Your Sister

You are under no obligation to let your friend sleep with your wasted sibling. Actually, you’re probably obligated to stop it from happening. Try to forgive, if you can’t forget.

5. She’s A He

If your friend’s into that kind of thing, fine, don’t judge him. But if he’s being deceived, explain that you’re not just cock blocking him; you’re also cock blocking her.

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Fallon Prinzivalli’s (@iamqueenfal) back-up plan is to be Kellan Lutz’s trophy wife.