Panic! International Shortage Of Chicken Wings!


Photo: Travel Channel

We figured farmers produced an unlimited supply of chicken wings or that our favorite appetizer grew on a Buffalo Wing Tree somewhere in the Midwest. Sadly, this is not the case, and it turns out, the National Chicken Council (for real) said that last summer’s drought jacked up the price of corn, which made it more expensive to feed chicken. The point is, there are fewer dead birds and approximately 12.3 million fewer wings available for consumption for this year’s Super Bowl.

That’s a terrifying prospect for sure. A Super Bowl party sans wings is very breaking Guy Code. So what can you do about it? Well, for starters, leave NOW to buy a ton of wings at Costco, Sam’s Club, your local grocery store or just steal them from mom’s freezer. Or trespass at a local farm, tackle a chicken and “do it yourself” (although we’re not condoning chicken larceny). Alternatively, call Hooters to check in on their wing supply. That said, nobody actually knows if Hooters serves wings. Just boobs. Don’t forget the hot sauce, friends.

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