Far as dying goes, getting suffocated by breasts sounds like a pretty decent way to go out. Actually, we can’t think of a better one.
Nevertheless, a 51-year-old Washington man probably would’ve chosen to live longer. Local police say that his girlfriend and mobile home co-tenant, Donna Lange, climbed on top of him and fatally smothered his face with her jugs. CPR couldn’t save him, and she’s now being charged with second-degree manslaughter.
The exact size of the accused assailant’s breasts/weapons has not yet been revealed; apparently they were large enough–or she was skilled enough–to cut off the poor dude’s air supply during an altercation. (The couple had a history of arguments, according to witnesses.)
She would’ve been able to hold him down thanks in part to her 17-pound weight advantage: Lange is 5′ 7″, 192 pounds; the deceased 5′ 6″ and 175. She was allegedly intoxicated at the time of the attack, and denied knowledge of the fatal incident.
Just hope that if you suffer a similar fate, it’s at a time and place of your choosing, and in the warmth of a more agreeable bosom.