Code Breakers: Guys Who Bring +10 To A House Party

Photo via Memegenerator

Society cannot exist without adherence to basic ground rules. Superficial customs differ from culture to culture, of course–which has always provided humanity with laughter and warfare–but there are universal constants across human civilizations: Do not steal. Do not kill. Do not invite all your friends to someone else’s party.

If you’ve hosted a rager, you’ve probably dealt with this problem. Oh, the vast majority of guests politely show up unaccompanied or with a +1 (which is always acceptable), because most people are decent deep down. It’s a delightful time with your nearest and dearest, celebrating your birthday or New Year’s Eve or the fact it’s not Sunday-Thursday…

Suddenly your abode is packed with loud dumbasses whom you don’t recognize, spilling vodka-redolent cranberry juice on your carpets/furniture and breaking all your precious stuff. (Also: Feeding your dog hallucinogenic mushrooms, because dogs are just people in dog bodies that don’t realize they’re people yet.)

The worst part is that these barbarians didn’t randomly crash your party; they’re guests of a guest, comfortable in your home (and wrecking it) because you have a mutual acquaintance. Let’s call him That Guy, because who else would it be?

You’ve tolerated That Guy’s presumptuous bulls**t in the past–because he’s well-meaning, you guess, just clueless–but this is the final straw. (Where did you meet That Guy anyway? You never quite remember.)

“What the hell?” you say. “It’s so rude of you to bring a pack of strangers to my party. If you want to throw a party, do it at your house.”

That Guy will look hurt for a second, but not because he’s ashamed; because he’s offended.

“It’s rude of you to boss me around,” That Guy will proclaim. “You should be a better host.”

You won’t respond, because you can’t respond, because your jaw has dropped between your ankles. Your party is ruined, your friendship is ruined, and your dog is somehow talking about advanced levels of consciousness in perfect English.

The point is, never bring more than +1 (++1?) to a house party, except under a few extremely specific conditions…

1. The Host Asks You To Bring People

Nobody wants to throw a party, only to have a few attendees show up. (A serious risk on competitive party dates such as Halloween, NYE, Cinco de Mayo, etc.) If the host wishes to avoid this humiliation, he might invite you to invite others. Actually, if the party’s a bust because you didn’t bring +10, you’re kind of a dick in this scenario.

2. It’s A Rooftop Party

There’s zero risk of property damage to the host’s stuff, so the more the merrier. The risk of someone drunkenly plunging to his/her death is the landlord’s problem, not yours.

3. Your Extra Guests Are Super Hot (And Single)

If you walk into a party–any party–with available babes, you’re committing the opposite of a party foul. Here’s an easy way to remember: +10 breaks Guy Code; perfect 10 upholds it.

+ For more house party rules, watch the season premiere of “Guy Code” tonight at 11/10c on MTV2

+Follow Guy Code on TwitterFacebook and Tumblr

Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog