Jeff Foxworthy made a living from the phrase "You might be a redneck if..." Today, we're gonna try to double his impact (and his chins) with the maxim, "You know you're a fat guy when..."
Keep in mind, you don't have to be a bona fide heavyweight to commit random acts of fatness; every guy ruthlessly smashes his face with grub at one time or another. But there's a difference between a few extra pounds and being pudgy, husky, chubby, chunky, large, huge, massive and eventually placed in a motorized scooter.
Below, find many instances of "you know you're fat guy when..." For more obesity-related hilarity, tune into the Season Three premiere of "Guy Code" on MTV2 at 11p/10c, and join us on Twitter with your ideas.
+ When you start thinking about your next snack before you finish the one you're currently munching on.
+ When you have the McDonald's Extra Value Menu memorized.
#youknowyourefatwhen you wake up drooling because you were dreaming about pizza
— ruth juneau (@ruthie_jjj) January 9, 2013
— Stephanie (@stephanieg_x0) January 8, 2013
+ When the last hole on your belt no longer fits and you punch a new one.
+ When you stare at someone else's plate so long they eventually ask you if you'd like some.
+ When you go swimming with a t-shirt on.
+ When you shop at a "big and tall store," and you're under 5'10".
— Patrick (@patrickjooyce) January 11, 2013
Uh...wow. My DVR automatically had me set up to record The Biggest Loser. #youknowyourefatwhen the magic moving picture box tells you so.
— Nick Fisherman (@NickFisherman) January 14, 2013
+ When you fail the "belly test" and can no longer see your ding-dong.
+ When you're completely winded after ascending one flight of stairs.
+ When you sit on a couch and use your belly as a snack tray.
+ When you're on a first-name basis with the pizza delivery guy.
+ When you go home and your mom bakes something, she still lets you "lick the bowl."
Watch new episodes of "Guy Code" every Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2