5 Guys Who Look More Like Mickey Cohen Than Sean Penn Does

Credit: Warner Bros.

The mafia flick “Gangster Squad” opens today, and we thought it looked awesome–well, Emma Stone looks awesome in sultry 1940s getup, anyway–but the reviews are terrible, only scoring 35% on Rotten Tomatoes. Maybe that’s because of pacing problems or gratuitous violence or weak characterization…

Or maybe it’s because of historical inaccuracy. Specifically, Sean Penn doesn’t whatsoever resemble L.A. crime lord Mickey Cohen, who looked like this:

Photo via Wikipedia

Of course, Penn is a great actor, but perhaps the movie would feel more genuine if the guy playing Cohen actually bore a slight resemblance. The next time Hollywood depicts this story, we have a few casting suggestions…

1. Bob Hoskins

Credit: Touchstone Pictures

Producers would have to talk him out of retirement, but Bob Hoskins (the non-animated star of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?“) definitely has the right profile.

2. Danny DeVito

Credit: Getty Images

Mickey Cohen was 5’5″ tall, so Danny DeVito would only need 5″ stilts.

3. John C. Reilly

Credit: Getty Images

If “Gangster Squad” were a comedy instead of a drama, John C. Reilly would be the man for the job. (It would make a pretty demented comedy, though…)

4. Paul Guilfoyle

Credit: Getty Images

This is kinda cheating, since Paul Guilfoyle already played Mickey Cohen in “L.A. Confidential,” but he’s a closer doppelganger than Sean Penn for sure.

5. Mao

Photo via Wikipedia

One is Jewish, one is Chinese… but were these two guys ever seen together in the same place at the same time?

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog