‘AXE-tronaut’ Buzz Aldrin Wants You To Visit Space… And Wear AXE

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In space, nobody can hear you scream, but maybe they can smell your deodorant body spray.

Last night at New York’s Hayden Planetarium, 82-year-old Buzz Aldrin–the second guy to walk on the moon in 1969–announced that AXE will send 22 random people to suborbital space. It’s a contest (drop your name into the helmet) in conjunction with XCOR Aerospace and Space Expedition Curacao, which would normally charge $95,000 for the privilege.

“Space travel for everyone is the next frontier in the human experience,” Aldrin said, moments before Kendrick Lamar started rapping (because why not?). “I’m thrilled that AXE is giving the young people of today such an extraordinary opportunity to experience some of what I’ve encountered in space.”

He’s also probably thrilled to get paid an endorsement fee, since he just got CREAMED in a divorce settlement. The former Mrs. Aldrin will reportedly get half his bank account, a third of his future income (approximately $200,000 out of $600,000 per year), plus 50% of his stock earnings and an extra $10,000 per year in spousal support. That’s in addition to whatever he’s paying his other two ex-wives. Yo, Buzz, prenups might not exist on the moon, but we have ‘em here on earth.

So, yeah, that might have something to do with this:

We have mixed feelings. On the one hand, AXE’s contest is pretty damn cool; we’re already jealous of the winners, and they haven’t even been selected yet. On the other hand, Aldrin is an American hero whose accomplishments belong to all humanity; it’s weird to see him reduced to a corporate mascot so he can pay alimony. (Almost as weird as seeing him rap with Snoop Dogg and host “WWE Monday Night Raw,” anyway.)

But would we ever tell him that in person? No, absolutely not, because he might punch us in the face. The guy is friggin’ jacked for an old dude, and we’re guessing his boot up our ass would not feel like one small step.

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