Why I Can’t Wait To Stop Trimming My Nose Hairs

Guyspeed editor Chris Illuminati has an awesome name. He also has some awesome observations. For example, on a recent train ride, he sat across from an old man with “the largest clump of nose hair thine eyes had seen.” At first Chris was disgusted by the geezer’s untamed nostrils, but he soon became envious:

I want to hit that point in life when appearance just doesn’t matter anymore. I’m in my mid-30s … and each year I put a little less effort into my general upkeep. It’s not from lack of caring; if anything I care even more now because the temple known as my body is beginning to resemble a rundown apartment complex. I care but I just don’t have the time to do it all.

I get, at most, an hour a day for completely selfish activities–reading, video games or even just standing in a corner mumbling the words to the ‘Family Matters’ theme. Ever tried it? It’s better than meditation. I don’t want to spend that hour trimming all the newly grown hair on my gorilla-esque frame.

I’m going to do just enough upkeep for the next couple of decades to keep strangers on a train from having mental conversation with my body hair. … After the age of 60 I can’t make any promises about anything. It could get ugly. People won’t know where the nose hair ends and the mustache begins.

MORE: “Here Is Why I Can’t Wait To Stop Trimming My Nose Hairs

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