Today’s Dumbass: Drunk Guy Leaves Baby Son At Strip Club


Photo via Daily Mail

Babysitters have gotten so expensive that strippers are cheaper by the hour. At least that seems to be the reasoning of Kenneth Rowe, Jr., whom police arrested on New Year’s Eve for abandoning his two-month-old kid at Shark Lounge Liquor Store & Strip Club in Daytona Beach, Florida. Not exactly a daycare center.

Rowe allegedly told a Shark Lounge employee that he was going outside to smoke a cigarette, and left his infant son in the erotic establishment’s custody. Fifteen minutes later, Shark Lounge’s owner–who either has a surprising amount of responsible family values, or just didn’t want to look after a damn baby–called 911 and organized a search party.

They found Rowe, who demanded his baby back. He then bolted, “staggering in and out of traffic,” according to CNN, and then allegedly hid in some bushes until cops heard the baby’s crying.

The kid is now with its mother, who probably won’t take it anywhere near a lap dance. Rowe is facing child neglect charges, although–in his defense–Shark Lounge special guest Ron Jeremy is basically the poor man’s SpongeBob SquarePants.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog