Photo: Cook County Sheriff
Back in 2007, an Illinois guy named Mickey Loniello Jr. got caught with drugs, and then got sentenced to hard time. So the down-on-his-luck heroin addict did what anyone would: plan a bank robbery to pay for his epic goodbye party.
He approached two other lowlifes to help with the scheme, which involved stealing a getaway car and then holding up a Chase branch. Unfortunately for Loniello, one of his co-conspirators--who gave him a handgun that didn't work--was working undercover for the FBI. On the day of the heist, federal agents intervened and put him back in handcuffs.
Loniello took a plea deal, and will now serve 19 months in the slammer. We might never know exactly what he had planned for his going-to-jail fiesta, but he told the judge, "I was not in the right state of mind," so it probably would've been awesome.
Maybe he can throw a party when he's released... and maybe he can just charge a cover?