Today’s Dumbass: Serial Farter Reprimanded By U.S. Government

Photo via The Smoking Gun

A Social Security Administration employee–pictured above with his wife, possibly making Pepe Le Pew hold a deep breath–received a formal reprimand earlier this month, according to the Smoking Gun. Not for dishonesty or malfeasance in the workplace, but for “releasing [an] awful and unpleasant odor.” Yeah, he could get fired for farting too much.

In an official U.S. government document, the 38-year-old SSA worker is accused of “uncontrollable flatulence,” thereby creating an “intolerable” stench for his coworkers. Over the course of seven months, supervisors had instructed him to see a doctor and/or “make it to the restroom before releasing the awful and unpleasant odor.”

The poor bastard, who says he’s lactose intolerant, offered to turn on a fan, but his manager responded, “[T]urning on the fan would cause the smell to spread and worsen the air quality in the module.” She concluded, “It is my belief that you can control this condition.”

Attached to the reprimand: a log of his emissions, including 60 offenses on 17 dates. (So that’s what they’re doing with our tax dollars.) A union disability lawyer is advising the olfactory offender on how to proceed. If you ask us, this whole case stinks.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog