4 Companies That Will Build Your Bomb Shelter For The End Of The World

Credit: Keystone/Staff

Maybe the Mayans are right, and the world is going to end on Friday. Maybe some psycho has his finger on the button right now. Or maybe the machines will start a nuclear war like “Terminator 2” and “The Matrix” kept warning us about.

Well… probably not. Always better to be safe than sorry, though. So we found some companies that specialize in building you the perfect bomb shelter. Hit the supermarket and prepare to hang that Hooters calendar. The end of the world could take a while.

1. Radius

Credit: Radius Engineering

Based in Texas, Radius does not mess around. They’ve been at it for 32 years and will build an entire underground city, if that’s your thing. Their shelters are “self-contained structural fiberglass high pressure structures designed to protect 8-200 adults for 6 months to 5 years.” You’ve got everything from radiation shielding to plumbing to hydroponic agriculture so you can grow, um, food. They promise not to make you feel like a sardine in a can, but rather like a Survivor Prince ready for the next chapter of humanity.

2. Hardened Structures

Credit: Hardened Structures

Before you giggle at its name, understand that Hardened Structures ain’t messin’ around. They stare in the face of the apocalypse and say, “Bring it on, f***ers!” Their team of engineers, scientists and ex-SEALs will protect you from “Nuclear, Biological or Chemical war, armed assaults” and other sticky situations. Also, you’ll keep the party going with renewable energy units in case the world’s power supply disappears.

3. Northwest Shelter Systems

Credit: Northwest Shelter Systems

Now that looks downright homey! Located in Idaho, Northwest has perfected the art of bomb shelters for over 20 years. Some folks might wanna take things underground, but NWSS will go one step further and drill through solid frikkin’ rock to build your shelter. That’s right, NWSS will plow through a mountain, so you’ll be tucked away safely from the bomb-dropping bastards who want our freedom.

4. Rising S

Credit: Rising S

The “S” stands for “sun,” which is exactly what Rising S wants you to see on the horizon after society melts down. Priding themselves as the more affordable option, they guarantee that everything is done in-house. Absolutely no outside contractors! They’ll build your blast doors, install the air filtration system and even stock the shelves with groceries. (You like canned food, right?)

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RG Daniels (@RGDaniels) is a comedian, writer, and former Knicks fan/current Nets fan in Brooklyn, NY.